Adopting: One day at a time

April 16, 2010

National Adoption Day!

Filed under: Uncategorized — ritairene @ 2:37 am
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Hi All – Just read this on someone else’s blog..

The Joint Council on International Children’s Services announced the first annual “We Are the Truth” campaign and call to action, creating a “National Adoption Day” 

Action being, to tell everyone about adoption.. since that yahoo woman in Tennessee actually sent her baby back to Russia and made all of us look bad here in the USA.

So, the goal: Tell everyone about adoption.. so that’s what I’ll do tonight.        I can’t talk about my own adoption, since a) it hasn’t happened yet and b) in my last post I talked about the adoption paperwork and apparently bored everyone to death. I mean, out of 54 visitors to my blog yesterday and, not one person chose to follow me!! So, I’ll talk about others experience with adoptions!

Part of Brian & my research, was that we talked to a lot of kick ass (yeah, I said it, because they are that cool) women who have expanded their families through adoption. They met a Birthmother, and a few months later, they adopted that woman’s baby. Its amazing really – neither took nine months, which is funny to me. Both these gal pals had a fantastic experience, and still to this day blog with stories and pictures to their childs birthmothers. I am glad that friends introduced me to these women, and so thankful that these women still let me talk to them about their experience. I only talked to one person who had a mediocre experience with adoption, but then she went back and did it again, the next time in Korea. She wasn’t to be swayed by the experience, since she wanted to have a family, and this was the way she needed to do it. The point here: adoption is cool in its own way, you just have to be patient and let the experience unfold.

In adoption, a mother chooses to give her baby the gift of a better life that what she can provide. She goes out, makes a plan with an attorney or an adoption agency, hand picks a family (from a pool of folks who are genuinely excited to be parents) and, after the birth when she’s depressed.. she has to continue to remind herself of what a great life her kid is going to have. On the other hand, people like me do a billion pages of paperwork/security checks/fingerprinting and have strangers inspect their homes (while trying to hid the crazy amounts of dog hair in the corners) just to be on the receiving end of that birthmothers choice, and give that baby the best life.

I guess, my point in all this, is that the woman who sent her baby back to Russia probably would have tried to send her own baby back.. she is that crazy. Its sad to me that over 13,000 kids have been adopted from Russia (it’s the #1 place international adoptions take place) and this one woman’s actions have shut down that country to everyone. And, (I know this is selfish, but..) people judge the experience on those type of bad stories that make it to the media. Our adoption counselor Tobi told me that with something like adoption, where there are 5:1 odds (5 great experiences to 1 bad) there’s always going to be a story that makes it to the press, because those stories sell .. and people remember them. So remember, that for that one woman who was unhappy with her Russian baby, approx. 13,000 were so pleased you didn’t hear anything about their adoptions! And now, the approx. 80,000 kids that are sitting in those Russian orphanages are screwed.

If you know someone who adopted, make sure you tell them how cool they are. Make sure people know how cool adoption is, if you or a friend have experienced it. I certainly will be, when I write my book.. after a few more blogs and an actual adoption taking place!

April 13, 2010

In the beginning..

Filed under: Uncategorized — ritairene @ 11:42 pm
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So, good news to report, we are FINALLY done with adoption paperwork!!  So exciting I can’t even tell you – a few times we thought we were done, and then more came.. but yesterday our Foster Care license came in the mail.  Of course we had to celebrate! 

Now we begin our networking, to find a birthmother.. which is interesting.  I find myself hesitant to mention our adoption goal to people outside my gigantic circle of friends and family but after hesitating, I usually do open up and tell  it to people, and those people forward me on to 15 others.. its pretty cool.  Its like telling people you are training for a marathon, or walking the breast cancer 3 day walk.. folks get so supportive and I think that’s so amazing when people you barely know can be so supportive.

Its interesting, for someone who works with recruiters and tries to identify talent trends and where one goes to find “top talent”, finding a birthmother  is something you can’t really predict how to find one .. so I guess I’ll keep talking about it to anyone who will listen!  😉  Yesterday I heard an interesting story from an uber supportive colleague who’s sister-in-law adopted a baby.. Her Mother-in-Law was standing in line at the grocery store and started chatting up a pregnant lady and her daughter, and the young daughter broke down and cried and told her she needed to give her baby up for adoption.  The Mother-in-Law wrote down her daughter’s information, and lo and behold.. the adoption was completed last September!   So, I guess I better keep telling people, even though it feels weird to tell everyone something that kinda feels somewhat private. 

That being said, many of you know I have a pretty awesome sense of humor, so I am going to close on this funny saying, from a calendar my boss got from her sister.. its my favorite:  “Well, Butter My But and Call me a Buscuit!!”  I’ve been using this saying alot, much to the alarm of Brian Dawson!!

Tune back in, in a day or two.. I am sure I will have more sayings and some updates!

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